Breaking the chains of lust

 Lord, to tell you the truth, my heart used to tremble with fear, but you knew that already. I’m here to clarify it to everyone who doesn’t believe me, but I had to fight that fear by revealing what I feared most. God, all I knew was that when I was sad, I just tried to put a smile on my face, but when I looked closer at myself, I could tell I was still not the happy, smiling person I used to be. Lord, this world shows no love, so please look at me. Knowing I’m doing more when I’m with you than anything else, I want you to know I’m never turning my head away from you. Lord, I’m on this earth to faithfully spread the Good news, and I know if I keep reading my Father's word while believing in how he can change my life for the better, everything will change for the better for me. Lord, I think I’m breaking the chain of lust. If it ever changes, I will step into the next level of your faith. I’m exhausted from committing the same sin and then getting on my knees and doing the same sin over again. This cycle has to stop if I’m trying to become a God-fearing man. 

Lord, I want to be able to move forward toward your light instead of going five steps back from your holiness all because I’ve committed another act of sin. Lord, I need something to write to take some weight off my chest. Grief tries to tell me what I am going to do and how my future is going to end, but I tend not to listen and continue to have complete trust in you, my Lord; I tend to keep telling myself not to let my dominant feelings control me. (James 1:19-20) says everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God wants. The fact that I cried over this story strengthened my faith slowly; you are in control of this whole earth, and I know there is much more out there for us, so please open some of our closed eyes. Lord, everything changes when I try to break the chains of these desires and succeed. My faith in the Lord made things make sense. My constant Bible reading made me speak differently; please surround me with those who love you. Lord, lead my heart toward all the correct paths and successful things, but I want you to be able to capture me first. I no longer want lustful thoughts to run through my mind when I sleep. God, I want you to come into my dreams to give me the strength to beat these evil spirits. Please tell me where I need to go and teach me how to stay on the path of righteousness. God, it is time for me to leave all this lust behind. Dear haters, thank you for taking the time to gossip and badmouth me. You have no idea how much of a blessing it has been to me. I am not bitter. I am stronger, smarter, and better. I learned to ignore people and not argue with them; instead, I forgive you for everything you have done. Dear brothers and sisters, please surround me. Let us read this little story I am starting together. Brothers and sisters, there is no point in looking for sorrow or happiness in yourself. You want to find the feeling of joy, not some other leftover emotions that sound more important than Joy or peace. Brothers and sisters, joy also does not react to the world but instead meets its highs and lows with steadiness.

I want to constantly communicate with God because he is the foundation of our life. Brother and sister, if you already know the joy that comes from God, you do not need other events to keep you happy. God, I want you to bring out the best in me. I am ready to let your light shine within me. I know what is coming, and I am ready, lord. My life has been stressful for a long time, but we can speak about that in my third book, Lord, it’s Jaylen. I love you, so please let me keep trusting in you and having many encounters with your holy spirit. God, I know it may not be easy as I try to fight this sin and lean on you more, but the devil, I know his tricks, and I know he will not be able to get me into that mud again because I have the armor of God, on. Jesus, I want to speak to you, and I know that sin will disappear from my presence one day. I want to thank you for everything. I do not want to fail trying to get closer to you. I do not want to sit in the mud anymore. Tell me to stand up, do something, repent, and try harder next time. Lord, please cast away those emotions that I no longer need. I hope my brother and sisters strive to keep our feet on the ground, hold our heads high, and leave all sin under our feet. God, I want you to use me in a way you need to. Lord, I can’t wait to see you when I get home. God, I do not want anything to do with this world anymore. I want to be in your presence more. It is time for me to live for you now. I have many blessings that are coming upon me. God, I need help from staying in my head a lot. It is time for me to wake up and become one of your faithful children. Please continue to do what you are doing in my life because I may not know it, but I know everything will make sense later. God, helping my brother and sisters become Christ-like feels fantastic. God, they genuinely try to get to know you and turn away from worldly things; I see them trying, so please let me try to say some encouraging words to them when I can, but not all at once because I’m still trying to talk with you more. I’m only a vessel that God has chosen.  

Lord, please let no unwholesome talk come out of my brothers' and sisters' mouths, but only what helps build up their connection toward you and bring grace toward others. (Jude 1:20) says But you, beloved, by building yourselves up in your most holy faith and praying in the Holy Spirit. God, please help me with this one sin I’ve been committing. I can’t let it start making me happy, lord; I want to give my soul up to you because I believe it can be much more to you. God, how can I help someone constantly confused and loves to listen to other people's unpleasant habits about what they say about you? How can I help someone if worldly thoughts keep popping up in their brain? Brothers and sisters, let us not be deceived by others. Let us pray for them every chance we get. Let us pray that bad company won’t corrupt their good character. Brother and sisters, I'm living for the Lord, and I believe you can do it too if you stop feeding into the devil's illusions and clean up the sinful mess you made by getting on your knees and repenting about what you have done. 

Lord, God bless my brothers and sisters and say that there is something more out there for them. Lord, I pray that my brothers and sisters find a relationship with you; Lord, I know you have not called me to fit into this world because now I find the lack of sin disgusting, and talking down on others does not sit right with me either. Lord, I want to allow your spirit to fall on me.  Jesus, you are too good for other people not to believe in you. Lord, I know that I should be thinking about you. I just let my head wander to different places that don't please you, my God. Lord, I’m willing to fill my head with your words. I know my life is a blessing. Lord, you have a kingdom that can’t be shaken; I know I can overcome the stages of sadness, anger, anxiety, envy, embarrassment, depression, fear, and corruption of my good character. I’m glad I let joy corrupt me entirely through my whole body. Lord, thank you for truly understanding what I’m capable of. Brother and sister, trust me when I say the pain you are going through is not greater than what Jesus went through and what he can do for you. God, I know you plan to keep us from this evil world because I’m drafting my stories about you. I want to have you in my mind while I’m asleep constantly. Lord, please trust me when I say you will never see me playing with the devil because when I heard the Lord is one and when I have my life to him, I felt that presence that had me blown away, so lord, I’m saying now to please guide me toward a path of success and give me wisdom, and priority to protect the ones I love. 

Jesus, when I read about you in the Bible, I get chills. So, let us walk this earth rebuking all the demonic forces. God, I have been living in sin for so long, but now you have changed me for the better. Brother and sister, trust me when I say God will protect you. He loves you even when you don’t love yourself.