Love letter

A love song kept playing in my head, so I wrote my love story on a blank piece of paper. This story is about the love of my life, whom I was having a hard time with, but at the same time, I had another girl in mind. I can't stop looking at your beautiful smile when I walk down the hallway. My eyes know you're the one because every time I look out the window, my eyes seem focused on your beautiful face. The next time she was next to me, it was all fun and games until I realized I felt like we were just friends, but I knew there was more. I want to hold your hand and talk to you. Baby, I want you to know that your personality makes it hard for me to leave, but I also love that. I want to tell you that when I talk to you, it feels like a dream because I never imagined talking to a woman as beautiful as you. Baby, don't you know that when you smile, I smile too? I just wanted to love you forever, but things change. I knew something would happen, and one of us had to go. So now that I know what to expect, I want to write you this beautiful letter. Baby, I want you to know that you deserve better than to get spit and hit on. 

Let me write this love letter to you to express my thoughts and to show you how a woman like you should be treated. Baby, I wanna let you know that I adore you for all your messed up ways. Baby, those guys I hang out with don’t know the real me. Look into my eyes, and you can see I’m nothing like them. Let's get on the phone and talk and watch movies for hours. When you cry, I’ll go over there and cry with you becuase it seems like you need the company at the time. This is a love letter written to you. I want you to know there will always be a me and you.  In my heart, I know your old nigga gave you a 10, but I'm telling you right now, I'm not gonna give you a 10 for how you look, baby; let me know what's on your mind. Baby, I want you to know that once my eyes glimpse your heart, I will be forever attracted to it. So if I do something bad to you, all I know is I will make it up to you by showing you something you've never seen. I want to respect, care for, and hug you like it's my last. Baby, the problem with trying to love someone is that when you think you’ve found the right girl,  you can't talk to her because the fear inside of you won't let you move forward. It's hard to stop worrying and forgetting about what happened because we spent the entire tenth grade through twentieth grade together, and her voice still drives you crazy. 

Baby, I don’t want your love to be fake to me. I think socializing in person is better than through a device that can listen to our every conversation. Baby, did I tell you your smile makes me smile? I just want to kiss you, but I hug you tight because I want to take your breath away, light up your heart, and make you smile like crazy. I’m trying to say that I don't want to wake up in the morning and see you gone. I don't want to see a letter saying I had a great time, but I wasn't ready because you've now found someone better and you're running away and I want to know why. Baby, let me ease your pain; let me distract you from all the chaos in the world by writing a love story about you. I'm assuming it can be me and you having fun on Earth. I’m trying to learn to trust you more. I've had some horrible experiences. Regarding trust issues, it's not you; it’s me. Just promise me that you will let me lean on your shoulder when the trust issues hit. 

Bae, if I embarrass you, say something, and please open up to me when I try to open up to you. I wanna find someone better than me so we can help each other strive for perfection. I never told you I’m proud of being with you but now I’m telling you. Baby, you deserve the key to my heart because our love is unique. I want to share my special love story with you, but I also stayed up late writing this just for you. Baby, I'm not used to expressing how much I love people in person, but I will give you a piece of paper with my thoughts on it. When I lie down, I think of you. I want you to know that I appreciate you and all your bad behavior. I want you to know that this is a love letter from me to you, baby; your soul has aged, and I love it. I'm sorry if I keep telling you I love you. If you kept hearing that word, I think you might get mad at me. Baby, when I feel bad and tell myself I'm not proud of myself, will you encourage me and say I'm proud of you because what you've done is an enormous accomplishment, and I'm so happy to see where you end up? 

We will change next year, but I hope we don't become what we despise. There are always distractions in life. Just promise me you'll stay on the right path, and don't let these distractions go away; you've gone astray. If you felt like I was a burden to you, would you tell me that you wanted to move forward with us while I was still stuck on the words "I like you"? I don't want you to twist things. I like you, and I do. I feel scared and shy around you because I don't want to mess up. I want you to know that you make me smile when I check each other’s messages and scroll through your photos. You're the reason I’m keeping a smile on my face; you are the reason I wanna go far with my life instead of cutting it short. I believe in you, and I hope you believe in me too. I never want to imagine losing you. I know I have many feelings you may not understand, but trust me, it won’t break me or you. I believe we are stronger together, and a good friend will forget why you cry and make you laugh even when you think you can't. I hope our bond is unbreakable. I promise you I won't leave, but people change and leave for selfish reasons. Baby, the sleepless nights I once had are all about missing you. The pain in my voice turns to joy when I mention your name.

I want to break down all my walls for you because I feel a connection and I know you can feel it too. You are the reason why I don’t want to leave; I believe our future will be better. I want you to tell me how to write a love better. In my mind, I told myself, I don’t want to love you to the end because it’s not right to like anyone if you still have feelings for another girl. This love letter I wrote was not a figment of my imagination. I got some of the words from my text messages with another girl. Throughout the whole story, I told myself I was happier now, but I wasn't becuase I was writing someone else a love story that wasn't from the heart but from some other girl's text messages that I couldn't let go of. Tears fall on the keyboard as I write because what I write is not me. Baby, I'm sorry, I thought we were closer, but I can't let go of another girl who has the potential to be a real woman. When you said you loved me, all I could think about was my anger at myself for what I had done.